


Falling Stars

by SharinaMay



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: AU, F/M, Fandom Secrets Secret Santa 2013, Storybrooke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-12
Updated: 2015-03-12
Packaged: 2018-03-17 13:10:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3530606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SharinaMay/pseuds/SharinaMay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Librarian!Belle and Pawnbroker!Gold, no curse<br/>Being the only librarian in a small town is a quiet affair so Belle French doesn’t think twice when she’s offered the chance to get to know the town ogre a little better. With unknown consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for the Rumbelle Secret Santa exchange for venivedivici. Her prompt was: indigo, daisies, allegiant, key, stars

“You’re early.”

Belle still waited for a day that Gold would start with a simple ‘good morning’ when she arrived at Granny’s. But for the last four weeks she got various comments. Something about the weather ‘it’s rather cold outside today, isn’t it, dearie’, her appearance ‘orange is a dreadful color’ or her punctuality ‘are you planning to wolf down your breakfast’. A particular favorite of hers was ‘did you decided to reread the whole library last night?’.

He on the other hand was always sitting sharply at eight thirty in ‘his’ booth, as Ruby put it, drinking coffee.

Belle wiggled out of her coat and scarf, piling it on her side. “I’ll get a shipment of books today. Couldn’t oversleep for that, don’t you agree?” She finally sat down and smiled at him. He usually was more bearable when she smiled. On some days Belle engaged the thought it was solely because it was _her_ that was smiling at him.

He grunted while folding his paper and taking the last sips of his coffee. He had picked a blue colored shirt with a matching tie today, looking perfectly put together like every day. She had always admired his impeccable taste in clothing.

“Breakfast?” Ruby put down a cup of tea in front of Belle and filled Gold’s cup with coffee.

“Eggs in a basket, please.” Over the last month Belle had eaten her way through Granny’s breakfast menu several times.

“Got it. Anything for you, Mr. Gold?” He declined as always. Belle had never seen him eat something while they were sitting together.

It had all started four weeks ago when Belle had received a note that promised free breakfast as long as she sat with Gold. She thought it a joke, but did it nevertheless. And no bill came. Gold on the other hand was fairly surprised and more confused what the hell she wanted from him, but told her to suit herself.

This had continued for three days before Belle had felt like she was swindling him somehow. So she went to the pawnshop after work, showed him the note and waited for a reaction. She hadn’t expected him to burst out in laughter. Apparently he had received a similar note.

She had been genuinely confused why he hadn’t said something, but he didn’t saw the appeal in free coffee. Belle however took full advantage of it. And for four weeks she ate a good breakfast every morning. But the main question remained: Who was paying her meals? Ruby refused to tell her, but she said it wasn’t her or Gold for that matter.

“This is not Granny’s style. She would say something straight out. I think it’s Tony.” Belle told Gold in the middle of their third week after he pointed out the patroness herself could be her secret benefactor. When she only received a blank stare she guessed he didn’t knew who Tony was.

“The cook. He’s a romantic. It would suit him.” Gold still looked skeptical.

“You never know what’s in a person’s heart until you truly know them.” He had snorted at that.

“You seem rather confided. Do you know him so well?”

“I’m the town’s Librarian. I know what everyone reads.” That didn’t seem to convince him either.

“There’s no bookstore in Storybrooke because the library handles everything, that’s how it always been. _You_ may buy your own books, but most people come to me when they need something to read.”

“That must be a demure collection then.” He had given her one of his half smiles, clearly enjoying himself.

“I don’t judge. You wouldn’t believe what some people are interested in…”

That seemed to trigger his curiosity, he’d leaned closer and started whispering conspiratorial. “And what might that be, Miss French?” He had stopped calling her _dearie_ after the second week, but she couldn’t get him to use ‘Belle’ or even ‘Arabelle’. But she took the small victory and settled for ‘Miss French’.

She had considered telling him that Astrid loved cheesy erotica in secret, or that Dove had read all books about pottery, knitting and, strangely enough, unicorns. Or how she found Dr. Whale wailing over Harry Potter.

She had told Gold about Dove’s love for pottery, imagining it was a rather harmless secret to tell.

Ruby brought Belles mind back to the present when she positioned her plate in front of her. Tony had even treated her with crispy bacon.

“Seems like you might’ve been right. He could be you secret feeder.” Gold sneered drinking his coffee.

Belle ignored his remark and scolded him for not eating around her bites. The man was way too scrawny. “I think Mr. Nozzo has enough expenses already without me interfering.”

Not wanting to argue with him she asked if he would sum up the news for her instead.

But Storybrooke was as dull as always so it didn’t take him that long to do it, the most recent being the planned playground for the children. Picking on straws she asked if he enjoyed the book he borrowed last. He didn’t answer right away, definitely trying to avoid admitting that he didn’t like it. As she had predicted from the start, but he had insisted on borrowing it.

She finished her tea and meal while he was finding a way around his pride. “It’s really… tiresome.” He finally conceded through gritted teeth after they had put on their coats. He pulled out a few bills and they left the diner.

“Told you, you wouldn’t like Anna Karenina.”

“Don’t be smug, it doesn’t suit you, love.” The smile nearly split her face in two. He had never called her ‘love’ before, and obviously he didn’t even realize it.

“I give you a better one, if you come around. See you later.” She squeezed his arm and left before he would come to his senses.

She came to enjoy her mornings with him immensely.

Being the only librarian in a small town was a quite affair. Belle always longed for adventure but had been stuck in Storybrooke for as long as she could remember.

She had started wondering if her infatuation with Gold was an outlet for her carvings. But there were better ways to fulfill that need than to engage in conversation with the town ogre, as he liked to call himself.

Her mornings were quite, it was a rare occasion that someone strode into the library before noon. It got crowded when school was over and everyone remembered that a paper was due. She liked Tuesdays the most because she usually received new books that mornings.

She spent her morning cataloging and labeling the new books. Henry was the first to come through the door after school was out. His greeting was somehow subdued, his usual excitement lacking.

She saw him sit on his spot after retaining a book. Maybe he had had a fight with his mother again, but before Belle could investigate Ava burst through the door, begging for help.

The rain brought another dozen of children to her realm that day. This caused a bigger mess on the bookshelves than her inner neat freak could handle. Trying not to be too palpable she spent most of her afternoon wandering the isles, picking up some books and preventing further chaos.

She was rather astonished when she heard a familiar voice calling her name. The volume in the room dropped almost immediately.

“Mr Gold. What a surprise! How can I help?” She was smiling again, making her way to the circulation desk. She couldn’t figure out why he was here at this time. His shop was open until seven and rent day wasn’t until next Friday. But at least the children had quieted down.

“I seem to recall you promising me a better book if I sought you out. Well, here am I” He gave her Anna Karenina back. He must have had a boring day and his ego not being enough reason to finish the book.

“Right. Give me one second.” She wandered back to the crime section, scanning the shelves for her target. She took her time then and watched him through the bookcases. He leaned heavily on his cane, his ankle was probably aching up. He was studying the package she’d arranged for Mary Margaret to pick up.

“Indigo Books and Music. Never heard of it.” He pointed at the label after she returned.

“Canadian retail store. I got a good discount.” She handed him the book.

“The Surgeon?” He eyed her skeptical but made no move to refuse it altogether.

“You’ll like it, trust me. Won’t sleep all night.” Her professional pride was acting up, she would bestow a sleepless night upon him and if it was the last thing she would do.

“Well, since we obviously found out what I’m going to do with my evening, what are your fancy plans for tonight?” The change of topic took her by surprise. He tried hard to appear calm she realized suddenly. If she hadn’t spent so much time with him lately she’d probably never noticed.

“If by’ fancy plans’ you mean helping Daria all night tailoring costumes for her caroling group, then yeah, pretty fancy.” She waited for him to make his point.

“I can imagine how Miss Marin coaxed you into the process.” His patronizing had lost his edge over the day.

She shrugged her shoulders. “You know me. I’m an allegiant soul.”

“Allegiant?” He frowned upon her choice of word.

“Yeah, that’s my word of the day, see.” She laughed shyly picking up the calendar and showing it to him. “Yesterday it was blandish and the day before palpable.”

“And here I thought you were the most literate of them all.”

Now she was laughing whole heartedly while she put the calendar back to its place. “You live and learn.”

“Well, I wish you a merry night. Try not to lose your fingers.” She gave him a little wave before he left. And just like that the volume increased again. She considered calling him back just to maintain the silence.

Belle generally closed the library around six. On some days however this didn’t apply.

When she saw Henry still sitting at the table pretending to read a book she knew she wouldn’t close up. And she always saw the difference between him killing time and being truly lost in a story.

Putting her keys back into her purse she sat beside him so they could read along together.

It was a detective story, unusual for Henry. She couldn’t imagine him growing tired of fairy tales.

“Belle? Are you in here?” Daria’s voice came from the door. Soon enough the red-head appeared caring a large box.

“Oh, you found an extra pair of hands, great!” Her grin reminded Belle of a shark chasing its prey.

Henry looked like a deer caught in the headlights. “Should’ve left when you had the chance.” Belle whispered into his ear. When he turned his head in her direction she winked.

“Here, take the scissors and cut this according to the measurements.” Daria handed him a pair of scissors, measuring tape, a spindle with gold band and a paper.

“And you sew those together. Let’s work.”

Belle started sewing the hemline of what appeared to be a white dress.

“What would be a good present for a girl?” Belle stopped her work and looked at Henry who seemed rather interested in the gold band, his ears a deep shade of red.

“That’s hard to say. It depends on the girl.” Daria offered while ruffling together the white fabric in her hands. “What are her hobbies? What does she like?”

“Stuffed animals, rabbits, and tea parties.” Henry had a crush on little Paige. Better than another fight with his mother, Belle guessed.

“Invite her for a cup of cocoa to Granny’s.” Belle suggested.

“And try giving her flowers. All girls love flowers.” Daria added.

“What kind of flowers?”

“Picking wildflowers is always a beautiful way of showing how much you care, but I doubt you find some right now.” Daria mused. On some days Belle wasn’t sure where exactly her friends mind was.

“Well you can always go to my Dad and ask for daisies or sunflowers. And tell him I send you.” Belle tried to be helpful. The poor boy obviously felt uncomfortable enough already.

“All done” Henry announced putting the utensils on the table. ”Thanks so much for the help. Bye” He made a hasty retreat before Daria found another job for him. They packed up and moved the tailoring into Belle’s apartment.

“Wildflowers?” Belle asked again after she poured each of them a glass of wine.

“Conrad gave them to me once.” That explained it. Daria had been pinning after him since her return to Storybrooke a year ago. Daria wasn’t like Ruby who had no problem in pursuing a guy she liked. She was more like Belle, dropping hints were their type of game. But when the object of your affection didn’t take the hint it turned out to be more problematic than it needed to be.

“Any news there?” Belle observed her friend closely, but she seemed to feel more frustration than anything else.

“No and I don’t wanna talk about it right now. How was breakfast with Gold?” At the beginning Daria and Ruby had called her insane for spending six mornings a week eating with him. Now they were plotting to get them on a real date.

“Fine, as usual. He was here today, too.” They resumed their work, Daria switching between singing and humming along.

“I think he was on the verge of asking me out.” Belle finally admitted. She had replayed their encounter several times over the last hours. There was no other explanation, or at least she thought so.

“What happened?” And there was the problem. Belle couldn’t think of anything that had might’ve caused him to flee. It would’ve been a shame if he simply changed his mind.

“Maybe it was the audience?” Daria suggested while pouring them their second glasses.

Belle never thought about Gold’s general relation to children, but at that rate she was happily accepting any explanation Daria was giving her.

The next morning came too soon for Belles liking. And she found herself very groggy and tired at Granny’s where Gold was already waiting for her.

“Long night, love?” She just dropped her things and slumped onto her seat. There was no need to tell him that her session with Daria turned out longer than she thought and contained more wine than she was willing to acknowledge. And his smug grin wasn’t helping either. Belle had considered ditching breakfast at Granny’s but she’d dismissed the thought quickly.

She accepted that he would never admit that he had in fact spent the whole night reading. Just as she would never tell him that she nearly lost a finger in the process of helping Daria.

She took it as a good omen however when he appeared Wednesday noon and asked for the second book of the series.

Things were normal for once. No one was talking about Mary Margaret’s and David’s affair, Kathryn seemed to enjoy her life in Boston, Regina wasn’t harassing her over the public funding’s.

Naturally, that wasn’t going to last.

 

Belle prided herself for being unflappable. She could take anything life threw at her. But obviously she’d been wrong. And the worst part was that her demise faced her in the simple form of a bouquet of daisies. Innocent and beautiful daisies. There was no card, no sign whatsoever who might have sent them. She had entered the library and the vase stood on the center of the circulation desk.

‘I like you too’, that’s what they meant in flower language, of course she knew that, she was a florists’ daughter and a literature freak after all. She starred at the flowers, commanding them to tell her who brought them there.

Deep down she knew that they were from Gold. Her first thought however had been that she somehow misunderstood Henry and he had a crush on _her_. Before she reminded herself that she neither liked stuffed animals or rabbits.

So she displayed patience and waited for a logical explanation. Or as logical as it could get in Storybrooke. It was rent day after all, he would be there sooner or later.

The better question was how she would keep herself occupied without losing her mind first. There were no books to catalog, the shelves were organized, this was going to be a long day.

She called Ruby and Daria over for lunch.

“You don’t think they are from your feeder?” Ruby asked confused.

Belle tried to explain that this seemed more personal. The note had been more of a joke, and it required Gold’s presence after all. She hadn’t been treated singularly. The flowers were special, they had a message- I like you, too- which required at least some kind of acknowledgement on her part.

Daria pointed out there was the issue with the locked door. There was only a hand full of people who had access to the library’s key. “You think Gold’s one of them?”

Even if he wasn’t, Belle was sure a locked door wasn’t something he would worry about. This seemed to be more and more his play. There was no one else who could pull of something like this.

Neither one of her friends seemed convinced that he had his hands in this, but there was also no way of proving her wrong.

They parted, agreeing to disagree, and Belle promised to keep them updated.

The time was passing by agonizing slow after she was left to her own devices. And since the weather cleared up all children were playing outside.

When Gold finally entered the library she almost lost her mind, already making plans to destroy the ticking clock. She rushed to the circulation desk to greet him. Obviously someone had thrown a fit over the rent and soured his mood.

She fetched the envelope with her rent and gave it to him. He nodded and pocketed it without a comment. Then his gaze fell finally on the daisies that still held their place.

“I got them this morning. They just stood there when I entered.” She watched him like a hawk, hoping for a reaction, but his face remained impassive.

“Your feeder again?” She had never heard his voice so bugged out.

“Unless you got one too I doubt it.” She quipped hoping he would cheer up. It didn’t work.

“Your father then?”

“He hasn’t got a key. And he would’ve told me.”

“Who’s left then?” He turned his gaze to her and looked at her.

“I thought it might’ve been you.” She said finally, realizing they wouldn’t go anywhere if she didn’t speak up.

“You think I send you this pest plant?” His face scrunched up in disgust.

“That’s not a pest plant! It’s a really nice bouquet!” She didn’t understand why he was so adamant. He’d been flirting with her for the past weeks, he seemed to like her genuinely.

“And why on earth would you think I would send you flowers? Getting a bit self-absorbed, dearie?” That hit closer to home than she would have expected. She hadn’t been ‘dearie’ a long time, and it hurt like hell that he would put her down to it again.

“You’re a coward, Gold. I don’t know what your sudden problem is, but you could at least admit the truth.” She had problems containing her voice.

“There’s nothing to admit, dearie. No man in his right mind would ever send you flowers.”

“Well, then take your pest plant back!” and before she could think any better she grabbed the bouquet and threw it at him. It bumped from his face and landed between their feet.

Belle was frozen in place. She couldn’t believe what she’d just done. When he finally opened his eyes she anticipated anger and fury, instead he looked calm, defeated. He even bent to pick up the flowers and put them back into her hands. “You would have never thrown them into anyone else’s face” His statement was calm, like they hadn’t spent the last minute shouting at each other. She starred at him, filled with regret but no words would leave her mouth. And then he was gone.

She didn’t even think about going to Granny’s the next day. She couldn’t even remember being so ashamed in her life. The most part of her sleepless night she spent asking herself why their fight had escalated so quickly. In a desperate attempt to get her mind off things she went to the Flower shop after work and offered her assistance.

Her father was so happy about the offer that he simply played along and didn’t investigate further. He let her handle the books and went around the shop fixing things.

“Dad?” she asked after a while, “Did you sell daisies on Thursday or Friday?” He was the only florist in town, and she had recognized the wrapping paper. But his entries of the week didn’t show that he’d sold any daisies.

He thought about it. “Not that I remember, why?”

“I got daisies on Friday” She didn’t want to tell him anything else, but as soon as the words were said, she knew she had made a mistake. He knew something was wrong immediately.

“What did you do?” Moe stopped working and gave her a pointed look. She considered her options hoping he would settle for the short story.

“I might have jumped to conclusions and accused someone to have send them, and being a coward for not admitting the truth?”

“You accused a poor man for sending you flowers?”

“I never said it was a man…” Belle tried to beat about the bush.

“So it was a woman then?” Even that didn’t seem to bother him that much.

“No. Dad you know the flower language! You know that they mean ‘I like you too’! And he was clearly giving signals.” Even in her own ears she sounded stupid.

“What did you do?” He put his hands on his hips and gave her a stern glance. He knew her long enough to know she did foolish things when she was upset.

“I might have thrown the bouquet at him…”

“Belle?!” He was horrified. Thank God she hadn’t mentioned Gold or else he surely would’ve had a heart attack.

“I lost it, ok?! I was hurt and…”

“That doesn’t excuse throwing a bouquet at him! Call that poor bastard and apologize!” Belle slumped into the chair. She knew he was right. And he would keep pushing till she gave in.

She finished her work and went upstairs afterwards to have a little privacy for her humiliation. She sat on the couch and opened her phone, scrolling through her numbers finding the one for Gold’s shop.

She stared it down for a moment before finally dialing.

“Gold?”

Bile rose in her throat and she kept swallowing it. “Hey, it’s me, Belle. Listen… I want to apologize. I don’t know what got into me. Maybe it really wasn’t you who left those dratted flowers.”

There was a long pause before he answered. “No Belle, I did send them.”

She held her breath and counted to ten in an attempt to keep calm.

“You’re an asshole!”

She slammed her phone shut wishing he would break his neck so she wouldn’t have to see that bastard ever again.

She didn’t go to Granny on Monday morning, or any other morning the whole week.


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thanks to winterswanderlust for beta-ing :)

Belle had never been good at holding grudges; it made her nauseous and stole her sleep. She always thought it easier to forgive. But for once in her life she tried really hard to maintain her anger. She avoided Granny’s when Ruby told her Gold was there, switched sidewalks and nearly ran to her destination when their paths were about to cross; she even locked herself in the library’s backroom once when he entered.

Her search for constant distraction lead her straight into Daria’s clutches. Tailoring costumes and listening to a children’s choir wasn’t as bad as it had sounded. At least the kids were ecstatic when she attended rehearsals.

The only thing that threw her off even more was when Dove entered the library on Wednesday morning -5 days after the phone call- and gave her Hyacinths. And he returned every second day and brought her a different bouquet. All of them contained at least one flower that said ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘forgive me’. It made the low feeling in her gut even worse.

“Go big or go home.” Ruby commented on his behavior after Belle told her and Daria what Gold was up to. At least her father wouldn’t have problems paying the rent for November or December, if that madness was going to continue.

Daria told her to stop avoiding Gold. It had been only a week but Belle already looked like a zombie. “I’m not saying you have to forgive him, but you can’t avoid him like that. It’s a small town, after all. Try ignoring him. Or just give him the cold shoulder.”

That wasn’t helping that much either. By the end of the second week Belle swore she had an ulcer. At least he seemed to be just as miserable as she, which meant he was as insufferable as ever.

Her only salvation arrived in form of Thanksgiving, which meant three days without work. Her father had never been fond of the holiday so he agreed to have lunch with her instead of a big dinner, so she could spend the evening drinking with her two best friends.

To avoid Daria’s father, her six sisters and their significant others, and Granny Belle’s apartment was chosen as their lair. When the two finally arrived one was holding a basket and a bottle of rum while the other had a plate with appetizers in her hands.

“I understand the alcohol, but how are the appetizers supposed to help?” Belle asked, skeptical.

“Just eat them” Daria shoved the plate in Belle’s arms and stormed into the apartment. Confused Belle stepped aside to let Ruby in, looking at her expectantly.

“Conrad was having lunch with Vanessa at the diner.” Well, that explained about everything.

They followed Daria to the kitchenette where she had pulled out glasses. As soon as Ruby was in her reach she took the rum and poured each of them a small amount. After a second thought, she poured herself a double. There was no use soothing her right now- she had murder written in her eyes.

“What’s in there?” Belle disposed the plate on the table and pointed at Ruby’s basket.

“Burgers and fries, with extra pickles. Junk food and a gore-spitting movie, perfect cure for men trouble.”

“I love you, but you already knew that, didn’t you.”

“Yes. And if push comes to shove, we still have this.” Ruby smirked pulling out a bottle of tequila and two lemons. It was going to be a glorious night indeed.

 

The weather changed after the holiday. The permanent rain stopped, the temperature dropped and the sky cleared. That allowed Belle to finally pursue her favorite form of distraction on sleepless nights: star gazing.

When she was a little girl and she couldn’t sleep her mother would lay for hours with her, showing her different patterns, telling her stories or just holding her until she fell asleep.

Not many inhabitants were aware of the alcove on the rooftop of the clock tower. Belle had coaxed Leroy to put a couch in there a few months after she had started renting the apartment. Belle assumed it was solely Astrid’s presence that had made the handyman agree to help.

She passed all of her sleepless nights on the rooftop, bundled in many layers of clothes and an electric blanket and while she listened to music. The cold air helped her think clearly, but she wasn’t always able to sort her feelings. Her emotions were a mess.

At least decorating the library turned out to be an easy affair. Five of the older teenage boys lead by Paige and Wendy appeared on her doorstep on the second of December and announced they were her Christmas elves, ready to help. Apparently they were so grateful for the costumes that they decided to return the favor.

While the boys decorated outside under Wendy’s watchful eye, Paige stayed indoors with Belle.

With Paige’s help she had everything fixed in short time. The only disagreement presented itself when the girl wanted to hang mistletoe over every door.

“No mistletoe?” Paige seemed really unhappy. ”Don’t you want to kiss someone special underneath it?”

“I doubt my someone will walk through this door in the near future.” Belle said quietly. She could kiss Dove, but she was sure the man wouldn’t appreciate that.

Paige, smart girl that she was, caught her drift and put the mistletoe back into the box. “I thought it would get easier when boys grow up.”

“That’s the problem. Men don’t grow up, they just get taller.” When Paige started laughing Belle realized that she had said it out loud. She made her swear not to tell anyone these words had been uttered. That seemed to amuse Paige to no end. They went outside when Wendy came in and announced they were done. The boys were standing in line, looking at the clock tower.

“This looks amazing. Thank you, guys.” Belle said in awe, smiling widely. They had put tinsel and fairy lights all over the porch, even on the sign. Paige stayed behind while the others left clearly proud of themselves.

She even accompanied Belle on her way to Granny’s, saying she was meeting someone after Belle closed up.

Ruby, Daria and Belle spent the first ten minutes watching the table Paige was sitting at. When Henry finally joined her, Belle felt so overwhelmed with the cuteness she was sure she was going to die.

Daria was disappointed that he hadn’t brought flowers with him. Belle pointed out he could have given Paige some when he had asked her out in the first place.

“Or he heard what happened to poor Mister Gold and decided against it.” Ruby commented dryly, causing Belle to choke on her iced tea

They kept observing the children while they ate their own dinner. Belle couldn’t help it, but she felt envious. She missed the times when asking someone for a cup of coca had been the hardest part of romance. For a small moment she wished to be that young again.

“How long has it been?” Daria asked suddenly.

“Seventeen days, three hours and about twenty minutes. But who’s counting.” It was the first answer that came to Belle’s mind. She wasn’t even sure if Daria was asking about her fight with Gold, she could’ve meant anything.

Daria stroked her shoulder comfortingly. “You’re allowed to let him apologize, if it makes you feel better. And if you can forgive him, you can still be together.”

“But can I trust him again?” Maybe that was the point, how could she ever know if he wasn’t lying to her? They finished their meal in silence.

Since Ruby took over a shift for Ashley, Belle and Daria had to leave without her.

They had just passed the corner when someone called Daria’s name.

Belle nearly dropped her purse when she recognized Conrad’s voice behind them. Daria froze for a second before turning around.

“Hey.” He smiled brightly at Daria when he finally stood before them. Belle made an excuse and stepped aside pretending to call someone. She was sure they didn’t notice it anyway, but she tried to give them a little privacy.

“I didn’t see you around last week. I hope everything’s fine?” Conrad sounded really concerned.

“Oh, yeah. All good. A lot of stuff to do for the Christmas fair.” Daria on the other hand was not sure what to feel it seemed.

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about, the Christmas fair. They’re doing the dance again.” Belle’s grip on her phone tightened. Had he finally taken the hint?

“I know. What about it?”

“I was hoping you would go with me.”

‘Oh please don’t say anything about Vanessa’ Belle prayed and started glaring at Daria in hope she would somehow feel it. They still could fight about it later.

Daria took a deep breath, surely ready to blow him off big time but then she caught Belles stare.

“Don’t you dare to do this! Say yes, god dammit!” Belle mouthed. That seemed to slow her down somehow. So much Conrad noticed and turned his head into Belle’s direction. There was no way she had been fast enough to change her expression to a smile, but he smiled back and turned to Daria again.

“You can accompany me to the gig or pick me up after it. But there will be a bunch of freaked kids, just so you know.” She still sounded rather cold but at least she agreed. Belle bit her tongue to repress any kind of triumph.

“I can help, if you let me.” Now he looked more like the teenagers Daria supervised. But that seemed to do the trick because Daria relaxed and put her arms down.

“Pick me up at twelve then.” She gave him slight smile and made her way over to Belle.

“Bye, Conrad.” Belle waved cheerfully at him, feeling rather giddy. Daria was awfully quiet on the short walk to Belle’s apartment.

“Conrad and Daria sitting in tree…” Belle couldn’t help herself anymore when she climbed the stairs.

“I’ll drown you if you don’t stop.” Daria growled somewhere behind her.

 

The rest of the week passed by without any more surprises. The library became a second rehearsal room for the choir and Belle couldn’t find a single bone in her body that disliked it. She liked this controlled noise, as it gave her something to concentrate on.

Dove brought her indigos on Friday morning. “They remind him of your eyes.”

“Did he say so?” Gold had started writing notes but Dove never delivered a message before.

“He didn’t have to. Good day, Miss French.” He took the book about a knitting pattern he’d asked her for previously, and left.

She put the flowers on the middle of the circulation for everyone to admire. She wasn’t even sure why her father had purchased indigos. They didn’t have a special meaning, and the only thing really significant about them was their color. A bright and magnificent color. Belle kept watching them the whole time between helping Mrs. Coleman with a book about gardening, and selecting a few storybooks for the children’s ward. She caressed the petals when she was close enough to touch.

Since there were no children to sing she had to rely on her radio. It took her some time to find a program that wasn’t playing Christmas songs repeatedly.

“I wasn’t aware that it’s allowed to be so noisy at a library.”

Gold’s voice caused her to look up. Automatically she turned down the volume of the radio. She hadn’t noticed how he entered the library, not even his cane had betrayed him.

“It’s the librarian’s choice. There’s no official code, and I’m alone here, so…” she replied. Her heart was beating rapidly, her stomach clenching already.

He stepped closer to her desk and put his book on it. He looked as tired as she felt these days. Put together as always, purple shirt and a matching tie, grey suit, but something was off.

Belle reached beside her and took the sixth book. She had put them all there so they were available when Dove came to pick one up. She handed it to him, but he didn’t leave. Instead he looked at the indigo before his gaze fell on her again. “Dove said you were enjoying the flowers.”

“Yes, they are beautiful. Thank you.” She shifted her weight. Did he make all the way to make her feel uncomfortable? She felt like crying, shouting and just be happy and angry all at once.

“Belle, I -” He started in a tone that left no question what he was about to do.

“Don’t! Just… don’t.” She interrupted him straight away. She knew he wanted to apologize, but hearing him using her name for the first time just to do that, because sending her flowers in the first place had obviously been a mistake, was more than she could handle.

“I forgive you, Mr. Gold.” Belle suddenly decided. There was no use in this, she needed to move on. She was so tired. Tiered of his behavior, his antics, her pride, and most of all, being angry and hurt. She just wanted to feel normal again, to smile without having this low feeling in her gut. “You can stop sending flowers. It’s just a waste of money.”

She was half surprised when she saw how unhappy he looked. “Let’s just forget this whole mess ever happened and move on.” She held out her hand to him.

“Very well.” He shook her hand. His hand felt warm against hers.

“Goodbye, Miss French.” He sounded so sad that Belle felt sorry for him.

She called out to him before he could walk out the door. “Do you sleep at night Mr. Gold?”

Exhaustion was the only thing that helped her to sleep through. She wanted to know if he felt the same, if this whole mess was taking a toll on him like it did on her.

He turned back to her and just looked at her for a moment before answering. “No. I find myself rather sleepless these days. One might say I’ve turned into an insomniac.” He nodded and left.

Apparently she had provided him with a sleepless night after all.

 

She found herself sitting at Granny’s after work the next day. She had chosen a booth from where she could glance at the place she used to share with Gold.

This was just insane. She was supposed to feel lighter, and instead another form of weight pulled her down. It was strange that so many details came to her when she didn’t see him every morning. And now that she let go of her anger she felt how much she missed spending time and sharing her life with him, even though he said so little about his own.

“It’s impressive what impact we can make on someone’s life.” Archie placed a plate in front of her and sat across the table. He had brought her a bacon cheeseburger with fries.

“I wasn’t aware you’re working for Granny now.” She told him baffled.

“I thought I should bring you your meal in person for once.”

She scrunched her face, trying to figure out what he meant, until it hit her. “Oh.”

He laughed at that, clearly not anticipating this kind of reaction. Belle explained quickly that she hadn’t even considered him being involved.

“Why did you do it?” Belle picked a fry and ate it.

“It’s hard to explain without breaking his trust.”

“He’s your patient?” She had never heard about Gold being treated, it was a small town after all. But if someone knew how to keep a secret, it was Gold.

“No. He just talks to me when the urge arises. But still, it’s not the right thing to do.” Belle could relate to that somehow.

“You gave him a note to sit with me. Why did you do that?” It was easier questioning Archie’s motives for now.

“He comes here except for Sunday, not just because Ruby makes the best coffee in town. I think he’s lonely in his house. He would never admit it but it’s one of the reasons. And I thought talking to someone would help him.” That sounded reasonable. And it corresponded with her own impression of his life.

“Why did you pick me?”

“Because you’re not afraid of him. You’re the only one in this town who’s willing to see the good in him. That’s your gift, you see goodness in others.” He smiled at her and squeezed her hand.

“I know I’ll regret asking this, but was that the only reason?” She couldn’t help but think he saw a deeper problem and didn’t know how to tell her.

“You’re stuck in Storybrooke, you want more but you’re limited. You were not unhappy but you weren’t really alive either. You needed a mystery. And Gold needed someone to remind him that he’s… well… not the man he likes the world to see.” She had never heard a more fitting description of her life.

“You paid five weeks’ worth of breakfast to get us out of our heads?” That question seemed to make him uncomfortable. Belle raised an eyebrow and waited for him to find the right words. He confessed then that Gold had known after the first week. The remaining four weeks he took off from Archie’s rent. Why Gold had agreed to keep up the charade as Archie had suggested was a question only the man himself could answer.

“I never meant to cause pain. I didn’t think it would turn out this way.” Archie said, apologetic.

Tentatively Belle asked if Gold had talked to him about their fight, which Archie declined.

“It’s all right Archie. You meant well, and you did a great job. It was our fault not yours.”

She patted his hand and dismissed his offer to help her. She promised however to seek him out if she wouldn’t get better by herself.

 

In the end she didn’t have to worry about it. Gold, being the determined imp that he was, wasn’t about to give up until he said his piece.

With the Christmas fair being next Saturday, more and more people were getting nervous and stressed. Belle wasn’t participating but somehow she found herself in the middle of the chaos.

Her only sanctuary was the rooftop and the pull out coach where she spent her nights.

She was lying comfortably in her nest of blankets watching the sky when she heard him coming up the stairs, the low ‘click’ of his cane was pretty distinctive.

“Is there room for one more?” He managed to sound neutral, with his hands folded on his cane.

Belle was about to send him away, but he had made the effort coming up all the way just to see her. “Knock yourself out.”

She watched him while he took his shoes off. He wasn’t wearing his usual suit but a pair of black sweat pants and an orange sweater. His feet were clad in red and blue striped fuzzy socks.

“Nice socks.” She told him after he put on a scarf and rolled himself in the spare blanket beside her.

He thanked her with a small smile.

“I wasn’t aware that you even possess anything besides suits and ties.” In her imagination he had those pajamas that looked like suits.

“It would have been rather impractical for the occasion, don’t you think?” He was trying to keep down his sarcasm.

“I suppose. But orange is a dreadful color, dearie.” She attempted to mimic his sneer. She failed terribly, but he chuckled anyway.

“It was a gift from Dove, a small act of revenge I think. The man certainly knows what he’s doing though, warmest piece of clothing I own.”

What the hell was he doing? Confused she returned her eyes to the sky. That was the first time he had offered something personal without her having it to coax out of him.

“So, you just lay here the whole night till you fall asleep and hope to see a falling star?” He started conversationally.

“Basically, yes.” She saw him nod from the corner of her eye and turning his gaze to the sky.

“What if it starts to rain or snow?”

“It shouldn’t. I watched the weather forecast. And if it does I’ll wake up soon enough and get inside.”

“And if you get cold?”

“It’s an electric blanket.” She held up the cable to prove her point.

He seemed to run out of inane questions.

While the silence took over Belle tried to figure out how he had guessed where to find her. In the end there was no way around asking him directly.

“Might have traded for that information.” He told her with a mischievous smile.

That wasn’t all that helpful. There were some people that knew what she was up to… her Dad, Ruby and Granny, Daria, Leroy… She wasn’t in the mood for riddles. “Will you tell me?”

“Will you get mad?” Given the last time he had faced her wrath, she decided to let it slide and made the promise. She even crossed her heart beneath the blankets and he seemed to recognize the movement.

“Your friend Daria was very smitten with a certain music box.”

Belle knew what sum he wanted for it, and how much Daria had saved. Even if she told him every secret she knew about Belle, that was a bad deal. “You got screwed. Worst deal you’ve ever made.”

“Aye. But it was worth it.” He turned his head to look at her. She grunted humorlessly.

“I’m sorry, love. I want to apologize for my behavior. It was poor judgment on my part. I was upset and you got in the way. Will you forgive me?”

“Why are you here? What do you want from me?” It just burst out of her. She had forgiven him, what else was there to ask?

“You haven’t forgiven me. You’re tired of feeling angry, so you offered a truce. That’s not what I aimed for.”

“And what in heaven’s name were you aiming for? Why do you need my forgiveness so badly?”

“We both know this is not the end of the world. This will hurt for a while but then it stops. You pull yourself up and move on with your life. That’s how it works. We both know it. We’ll go back to what we were before this incident. But that’s not what I want.”

He paused. Belle didn’t know what to say, so she just looked at him waiting for him to continue.

“I don’t want to just move on. I want you to be there. I know the difference now and I’m willing to fight for it. I was foolish to push you away. I didn’t realize how much I would miss you.” He was looking at her as if she was about to vanish at any moment. He had never sounded so vulnerable before.

“Then why did you do it?” It was out before she could think about it. She could feel tears building up.

“You know my reputation, Belle. I didn’t end up being the most feared man in this town for being nice. You are the only one who sees the good in me and who doesn’t think it’s a weakness. When I sent you the daisies, I meant it. I still do. There’s no excuse for my behavior. It was an awful rent day and then Regina had to put in her two cents and when I saw the flowers and you called me out immediately, I lost it. I was afraid of losing my power.” He started to ramble and she was wiping her tears away as quietly as she could.

“Power means a lot to you, doesn’t it?” She asked quietly looking away again. He cupped her cheek, stroking it gently, forcing her gaze back to him.

“It was all I cared about for a long time. I worked so hard to maintain it, it’s hard to let go. But if you’re willing to give me another chance I promise I will do better. I can’t promise I won’t screw up another way, but I swear you’ll never doubt my feelings for you ever again.”

Belle felt as if someone had pulled the rug out from under her. Her stomach was contracting, but there was no way of denying the joy and happiness that spread through her. Deciding not to think it over she just leaned in and kissed him straight away.

He hesitated a moment before he pulled her closer, kissing her back. It was rather impractical with the blankets between them but Belle didn’t care. She wriggled out her hands so her fingers could find their way into Gold’s hair.

“This is ridiculous,” he muttered, suddenly pushing her away and struggling out of his blanket.

Belle didn’t know how to reply, but then he started pulling at _her_ blankets. “What the hell are you doing?” She shrieked when the cold air touched her. She fell silent when he pressed against her side and rebuilt the nest around them. He pulled the blanket up to her chin, then mimicked the motion for himself.

“Much better, don’t you think?” He was holding her flush against him.

“There’s only ‘all or nothing’ with you, isn’t there?” There was nothing else that she would have rather done than kiss him again, but unfortunately her common sense kicked in. He still had some explaining to do, and there was one thing she couldn’t avoid – her own part in their fight. She apologized properly for throwing the daisies at him. He kissed her temple and told her she was forgiven. She pressed her nose against his neck and inhaled his scent. This felt right.

“I do have two questions, though. How did you manage to get the daisies into the library?” Belle decided to start with the easy one. Gold pulled her closer and started spinning the tale of how Dove bought the flowers from her father’s assistant and _borrowed_ the key from Mrs. Ginger, while Gold had been dutifully keeping her away from the library long enough for Dove to sneak in and out. She hadn’t even considered that Greg could have sold the daisies without telling her father.

When he inquired about her second question, she told him about her conversation with Archie. She wanted to know why he didn’t tell her the truth.

“Because you were glowing. You looked so happy and content trying to figure out who it was. I couldn’t bear it if you had lost that. You were smiling all the time, bursting with life. That’s the reason I suspected Dr. Hopper had something to do with it. He’s been bugging me for years to befriend someone. I let him pay for the first week because I was sure you wouldn’t last much more. But you kept coming back and I got intrigued. It felt wrong to let him pay for your breakfast when it was only for my liking.”

“You two seem to agree that I tend to see the best in people.”

“Aye. And when it’s not there you create it.”

“That’s not true, Ciarán. You’re not the man they think you are. And I’m glad about that.” Using his given name felt strange, but maybe it would help. She found his gloved hand with her own and pulled the glove off to intertwine their fingers. ”You need to stop making yourself the bad guy all the time. “

“I’m a difficult man to lo… like.” He corrected himself quickly. There was no way of denying that he was a fairly convincing bastard at times.

“It’s easier than you think…” Belle muttered.

“You know my name?” His lazy smile was a new sight for her and she loved it.

“I may have bribed Dove. He’s easy when you know his weaknesses.” She let go of his hand, bringing her own up to his cheek. His eyes strayed from her eyes to her lips.

“I need a date for the Christmas fair.” She kept her lips heartbeats from his, enjoying the torture more.

“Lunch at Granny’s at twelve and then a leisurely stroll over the fair?” His voice was getting breathless.

“You’ll have to watch the kids caroling. All of it.” Her own voice was a mere whisper.

“I’ll be on my best behavior,” he promised. She smiled at him and leaned forward to kiss his lips softly.

They resumed their previous position, her hands in his hair and his arms around her waist, and pulled the blankets tighter around them.

This was going to be a good night.


End file.
